Griffin & Joy & Anguish

Mimi (Donna) and Woody (Griffin) at the Arboretum

I continue to struggle with the juxtaposition of anguish and joy. These emotions are at different extremes and I am experiencing them seemingly on top of each other. How does one balance these?

I experienced joy with Donna and Griffin after once again inserting myself into their Wednesday this week. Since it was a glorious Fall day, we visited the Dallas Arboretum. Griffin was in his cute little Woody costume, fighting against wearing the cowboy hat the entire visit, and picking up little pumpkins along the way. Then we found the Children’s area with water features and fountains. And since we are grandparents, off came his shoes and he proceeded to become completely soaked, playing in the dancing water streams with the other kids. That is joy, for both Griffin and me and Donna.

After dropping off Griffin, we came home and I started longing for our FaceTime call from Amanda and AJ and Logan. We just must see them and talk to them daily. We want to know how their day was, how they are doing – good or bad. And sometimes – maybe more often than not right now – the day has been difficult. Watching my family struggle with such challenging circumstances and difficult decisions fills me with anguish. But that anguish does not cause me to look away. I want to be with them, and I want to hear. And you know what? When Logan smiles at us, the joy busts through the screen.

Joy and anguish are coming at me – us – right now, at their speed and not ours. I say ‘bring it on’ – as if I have some control over them. Please Lord, allow me to both appreciate the joy and lean into the anguish.

One thought on “Griffin & Joy & Anguish”

Comments are closed.