Extended Family Archives -

Logan, Baby Jail

I stole “Baby Jail” from Mike, Amanda’s Father. Mike has used the term on social media and it is a great description of this part of Logan’s treatment. Because…waiting. Stuck in the hospital. Chemo ended about a week ago, and Logan’s immune system has not started to recover. So, Baby Jail.

Treatment

Logan received platelets on Wednesday. And although early last week his hemoglobin paradoxically increased, it eventually started falling as it should have. In the next couple of days Logan’s hemoglobin will fall to the level to prompt a transfusion of red blood. He’ll need them, because Logan’s a 15-month-old toddler who bumps into things, and we noticed bruising during our FaceTime call Sunday evening. Bruises come easily for cancer patients at this point.

Family

Donna and I are quarantining in anticipation of returning to the hospital to help out Amanda and A.J. later this week. We had a great time with Griffin last weekend, and since then have kept to ourselves so we can be sure to not bring any infections to the hospital. While we have not been at the hospital, Amanda’s family has been so, so generous with their time. Above you see Grand Mike with Logan, and below you see Grams Kimberlee reading to Logan.

And Amanda’s brother Chris and wife Casey spent 24-hours in the hospital with Logan from Saturday to Sunday afternoon yesterday. They have done overnights previously, and that time away from the hospital gives Amanda and A.J. a much-needed break from Baby Jail. A.J. said that he slept for 12-hours straight.

Kimberlee, Grams, reading Logan “Never Touch a Piranha”

The estimated discharge for Logan is “late April.” Discharge is dependent on Logan’s immune system and his body will be ready when it is ready. Five rounds of chemotherapy and recovery takes its toll, and yet Logan is doing great. Social media pictures and video show him smiling and dancing and learning new skills, which is a blessing. But we know that he is curious of the world outside of the hospital, because FaceTime calls with people and places he does not know fascinate him. We are all ready – maybe impatient – to return him to the outside world.

Logan – Update, Waiting Again

Big John with Logan, and Logan wondering what the hell Big John is doing

Update – A Tough Week

When coworkers and neighbors ask “How’s Logan doing?,” my recent reply has been “Great! He is waiting for his blood counts to recover.” And that is true. However, there is a reason that Logan remains in the hospital with Amanda and AJ by his side. He is being treated for leukemia and that is no joke. And while the concern and interest of everyone is so appreciated, I am uncertain whether people really want to know details.

At this point in Round 4 Chemo Logan has no immune system. His red blood and platelet counts are super low and he is supplemented with blood and platelet transfusions as needed. And we can tell when he needs blood when you just look at him and see his eyes. Are they big and bright? And is he lively and playful? If no, blood is needed.

As for platelets, it was super-obvious this week that Logan needed them when he was walking and bumped his mouth against the cooler. Just a little bump resulted in non-stop bleeding from his gums. (Without platelets, coagulation is difficult…) We FaceTimed while he was still bleeding, and Amanda and AJ and nurse were working to help him out. Logan’s red blood count noticeably dropped from that day to the next, and the blood was ordered.

After he receives those transfusions, he is a different little guy. Alert and energetic.

“As Needed”

Previous posts have discussed the need for blood and platelet donations. Nothing has changed – still needed. And while I wrote above that blood and platelets transfusions are ordered “as needed” and as blood counts demand, the staff is ordering them “judiciously” (in the words of a nurse) because of blood product supply concerns. Logan likely should have received a platelet transfusion before the bloodletting episode. So once again, if you can donate, please do so. There is a cancer patient (and their family) praying that you do.

The Picture

I have pictures of a weary-looking Logan with blood-caked lips but I thought maybe that was too much to share. (You are welcome.) But a week or so ago I took a pic of me and Logan with the cover of a book that Aunt Bridget made for Logan while in the hospital. The book has pictures of his parents and grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins to supplement FaceTime calls. He loves it.

Of course, Logan’s cover picture on the book is pre-diagnosis. The story that the picture above in the blog tells is pretty clear. Cancer treatment sucks and has side effects which are evident.

Logan and family are looking forward to his blood counts recovering the next week or two so they can get a much-needed break from the hospital.

Christmas & Cancer & COVID

Christmas 2021 via FaceTime and windows – literally windows

Logan Update

Merry Christmas, though I am not all that merry. I woke up concerned for Logan as our FaceTime call last night had him fussy and not in a great mood. So as I begin to write this very early on Christmas morning, I am waiting for a call to see how he is feeling today. Teething could be the culprit. Or maybe his anti-fungal med called Vouri (spelling?) which causes him discomfort. (That med is transitioning to oral delivery as Logan’s discharge is anticipated soon. So this change may be impacting him.) Or maybe he along with Amanda and AJ are just tired of the hospital. Whatever the reason, he was not his normal happy self, so that concerns me.

Update: We received my morning FaceTime call on Christmas day, and Logan is doing well. Not quite awake, but certainly feeling better than last night. And so Big John is a bit merrier. Logan’s white blood cell count is still at zero, meaning a few more days in the hospital. We were all optimistic that Logan might have been out by Christmas because of his fast recovery after round 2. But the fact is the “typical” rebound after this 3rd chemo round would have him released mid-next week. So, things are as they are, and Logan will be released when he has an immune system to protect him.

COVID

Our tradition for years has been to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. Sadly, Kevin remained in Florida this year as he just recovered from COVID. His girlfriend Sydney then got COVID, and so she is still feeling the effects. We shipped gifts and used FaceTime while we gathered in Texas last night. Recently I have heard of numerous others who have had COVID, and this surprises me. It took 18 months into a pandemic to hit close to home. My Uncle Mike and his daughter Erin have COVID running through their family. My nephew Mike is recovering from COVID, too.

The good news, I guess, is that vaccinated people typically do not end up in the hospital. My family members worked their way through the aches and pains and lethargy. And so it seems that we are figuring out how to deal with this COVID thing, which appears to be with us for the foreseeable future. Or maybe forever.

Surprise Guests – Through the Window

Amanda and AJ on the patio, joining us through the window

In the first photo, perhaps you missed that Amanda and AJ actually celebrated with us on Christmas Eve. The second photo has them enlarged, and AJ is clearly seen through the window, with Amanda on the left. So happy that they were able to join us. It was reminiscent of Thanksgiving 2020 which we celebrated in Bridget’s backyard. Glorious weather allowed an outside gathering, and Amanda and AJ sat at their own table as Amanda was soon due to deliver Logan. Social distancing was needed given, well, COVID. Glorious 80-degree weather again yesterday allowed similar participation through our side windows. I am grateful to Mike and Kim, Amanda’s parents, who watched Logan at the hospital during our gathering. Amanda and AJ’s diligence in social distancing has paid off, as Logan remains infection-free. Praying this continues.

Of course, we said grace before our meal. And grace came easy to me. Then I wanted to say a few words about looking forward to gathering together in the future, in the same room, all of us. And it took almost no time for me to choke up as I was speaking. My words were few, because what I said was all that I could get out of me without crying. While I remain grateful for our gathering, I miss those who could not join us.

Merry Christmas

Time to ask Spotify for Christmas songs. Because in the immortal words of Buddy the elf, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” That will make me merrier.

So, for all who are ill, or separated, or lonely, I do wish you a Merry Christmas. I pray that you find joy in the arrival of Christ today.

Logan, Rosaries

Rosaries from Grandma Mary for Jeff, Bridget & Connor, and Amanda & AJ

My 90-year-old Mom has sent each of her grandchildren a rosary and asked that they pray the rosary to our Blessed Mother in honor of Logan, for Logan. You see, she has amassed many rosaries over her lifetime, and the plan was to give a rosary to each grandchild when she passed. But given Logan’s illness, the plan changed. With the help of my sister Terry, each grandchild has received or will soon receive a rosary, a note from their Grandmother, and a booklet on how to say the Rosary. The rosaries in the picture arrived at my home to deliver to those in Dallas. I opened the box and I was so touched that I cried. Once again, I am tearing up writing these words because it means so much to me.

October happens to be the month of the Holy Rosary, and for my non-Catholic readers the Rosary is often used to ask God for a special favor. The Rosary is a simple prayer, a perfect prayer, and a humble prayer – just like the Blessed Mother. How many Rosary prayers will be said for Logan? No idea, but I hope many. I have been and will continue to pray to the Blessed Mother for Logan’s recovery. It is the last thing I do every night as I close my eyes.

Friends and family members – you reading this – are genuinely touched by 10-month-old Logan’s leukemia fight. You are generous with your prayers. Grandma Mary has a “God box” – literally a box – into which she puts names for prayer. She is praying for Logan, I know. And I hear from so many people who are fervently praying for Logan, his family, and his caregivers. Know that this prayer is needed and appreciated. Thank you.

Playing Cards

Uncle Bernie O’Grady, Uncle Ed Crotty, Mom and Dad

I grew up playing cards. It started with nickel and dime rummy at the kitchen table with my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles – whoever was around. It’s just what we did. And as you can see from the pic, the cards started long before I was around. I believe this is in the 87th/Wood basement in Chicago where my Mom was raised. This picture includes my Uncle Bernie O’Grady who died a young man. I vaguely remember visiting Uncle Bernie at school in Carbondale, Illinois and that he lived on a houseboat. (Some O’Grady can check me on that.) My Uncle Ed Crotty was married to Aunt Kay, my Mom’s sister. Finally, my Dad, in his favorite pose at the poker table, raking it in.

I am finding that old photos of everyday life like these are rare. Because cameras were for special occasions. And the camera was a thing you had to remember to bring with you, remember to take a picture, and wait for the roll of 12 or 24 or 36 exposures to be used. Then of course the roll was taken to Walgreens and left there for a week to be developed. Hopefully, some of the photos turned out. Were in focus with everyone’s eye open. Without the photog’s finger in front of the lens.

Now, of course, everyone has a camera all the time and everyday life is constantly captured. And instantly photos are judged for quality and shared. There will not be someone like me in 40 years sifting through polaroids. They will be hopefully – if we save properly – sifting through digital files.

O’Grady Cousins

O’Grady 50th Anniversary, June 1979- the grainy cousin pic

In a previous post, I mentioned that I was part of a large extended family. Here are most of my O’Grady cousins gathered for my Grandparent’s 50th. Remember this does not include my cousins on my Dad’s side, and I am looking for a picture of that crowd. I recall the many gatherings to celebrate Baptisms, First Communions, and Confirmations with potato salad, soda bread, and cake. Usually a poker game broke out.

How I wish there is a better picture! Please send me one if you have it… My brother Joe was consulted to see if we could get all the names right, and I am ready to be corrected. Last name = O’Grady unless they are my siblings or it is noted.

Front of table: sister Cathy, sister Terry, me, Shawn, Peggy Crotty, Beth

Back of table: Scott, Bernie, Jim McMullen, Mike McMullen, Patty, Henry, Ray, Erin, Mike, Grandma, Eddie Crotty, Bernie Crotty, Grandpa, Leslie, Mary Jo Crotty, unknown (to me) religious Sister, Bridget McMullen, Ami, Patrick, brother Jim, Chris with Joe, Jay, brother Joe. As we got older it is easier to identify everyone, and I am concerned I don’t have the three girls between Mary Jo and Patrick correct. One could be Mollie – sorry!

What’s your name?

For my Mom and Dad’s 70th anniversary, my sons Kevin and Jeff decided to surprise them by travelling to Chicago for the weekend. Certainly the distance limits how often we are able to visit, but the pandemic stopped all the visits. So Kevin and Jeff have not had the chance to see their grandparents in person for a couple of years. Watching them talk brought me great joy.

After Jeff and Kevin left the first night to hang out with cousins Tom and Mike, my Dad said to me, “I think I asked Jeff his name.” Then he followed up with, “Jeff must think I am an idiot.” I assured my Dad that that was not the case.

I texted Jeff, and his response was, “Yeah, Grandpa did ask. First he asked what my name was and I said ‘Jeff.’ And then Grandpa asked ‘Jeff who?’ I thought he was messing with me, but I answered ‘Beatty.’ It surprised me. I could have handled it better.”

Know that my parent’s minds are in great shape, and yet when you are in your 90’s you now and then forget things. (I forget things right now. ) Also know that Jeff thought his Grandpa was messing with him, well, because his Grandpa would sometimes mess with people – joke around with them. That this misunderstanding took place was really fantastic to me. It acknowledges who each of them was and is. It shows the reality and uncertainty of aging. And it is an example of the grace that people can show each other as things change.

And when they met again the next day, they each greeted the other with, “Hi, Mr. Beatty.” Perfect.

Glamour Shot

Mary Beatty at 91, and as St. Laurence Mom

My Mom was involved. Involved in church and school at St. Bede’s Parish, and in the Mother’s Club at St. Laurence High School. Her model of service has certainly guided me to be a part of my community.

The St. Bede Altar Guild was a service/social organization for women of the parish. During my recent visit to Chicago we enjoyed pizza from Vito & Nick’s, and Mom recounted that after the St. Bede Altar Guild meetings, the “meeting after the meeting” would be held at Vito & Nicks. (Best thin crust pizza in Chicago, by the way, to this day.)

As for St. Laurence, the Mother’s Club always had schemes (events?) to raise money for the school. Among them every year there was a dinner with a talent show sort of program, and the Moms would sing and dance. The picture Mom is holding is one of the glamour shots that were taken of the performers for the program. Gotta be fun, right? What I would pay for a video of any one of those shows.

Sharpshooter

The Armed Forces drafted my Dad at age 18. Following in the footsteps of his older brother Jim, Dad enlisted in the Navy. Or my Dad tried to enlist. You see, his eyesight was poor, and he was rejected by the Navy at the recruitment center. But Dad was determined to be in the Armed Forces. So he arrived 4 days later at the same recruitment center and enlisted in the Marines. But this time he knew the process of moving from room to room with his paperwork, and he was accepted that day into the US. Marine Corps. He recounted, “I might have memorized the eye test, and there may have been a pencil with an eraser involved as I moved between rooms.”

My Dad is quite proud of his service as a Marine. He served in China and spent time in “Peking,” he believes, because he was able to type. But he is most proud of qualifying on the rifle range as a sharpshooter, despite his poor eyesight. His good right eye allowed him to shoot well enough to qualify. By the way, sharpshooters earned an extra $3 per month, so his monthly pay increased from $50 to $53. Hope he did not spend it all in one place.

A Gathering of the Vaccinated

An outside gathering for John (red check) and Mary’s (blue striped sweater) 70th Anniversary

My parent’s joy beamed from their faces as guests arrived for what started as a small informal dinner to celebrate their 70th Anniversary. Nineteen attended, most expected, but some including me from Texas and sons Kevin and Jeff were surprises. Seeing my Mom’s mouth agape when Kevin (Florida) and Jeff (Texas) walked into their home – priceless. Just I loved seeing cousins and other family members who we just have not seen in, let’s say, a pandemic.

And there it is, a pandemic. The pandemic that scuttled a 90th birthday party last year for my Mom that would have gathered the entire family, keeps us at a distance, and has us worried for our lives. And even with all the vaccinations, there is still the feeling that maybe the gathering wasn’t so smart. Why put us all at risk, even a lessened risk with our vaccinations? Maybe the answer is joy, connection, and love. For me, I hope God graces me with many more years for that joy. For Mom and Dad, their joy was palpable yesterday, and for that I am very happy.

Category: Extended Family