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Logan, Family ripples

Our outside pandemic Thanksgiving 2020. AJ & pregnant Amanda are socially distanced

Thursday, September 23, 2021

We are all lost. Trying to figure out what to do. Trying to work and honor our commitments to our employers, while at the same time they tell us ‘Do what you need to do to support your family.’ In the quiet of the day, perhaps in my truck, I think about Logan and Amanda and AJ, and start crying. The crying is less now, and so maybe I am a horrible person in that I am getting used to my beautiful grandson Logan being attacked by cancer.

But still, via social media and on the phone, we hear from family and well-wishers with their oh-so-kind written and spoken words. and their prayers. These kindnesses without fail cause me to well up.

I can tell you that Bridget’s, Jeff’s, and Kevin’s hearts ache for their brother and sister-in-law and nephew. Each of them is doing their part to support Amanda and AJ and Logan. Seeing my family care so much about each other makes my heart sing. And at the same time, I hate – absolutely hate – that we all are in the position of needing to rally together. So, we talk on the phone, cry together, and talk about ways in which we can help each other and Logan and Amanda and AJ.

I am afraid we are filling up their hospital room at Children’s with too much food. From the Beatty’s, the Harris’, other family and friends. But other than prayer, food is what we can do. When I asked if I could bring them coffee and breakfast this morning, AJ said “Yes, can you bring something healthy for breakfast?” In times like these, we all love comfort food. But at some point after days of it, ya just want a piece of fruit.

What’s your name?

For my Mom and Dad’s 70th anniversary, my sons Kevin and Jeff decided to surprise them by travelling to Chicago for the weekend. Certainly the distance limits how often we are able to visit, but the pandemic stopped all the visits. So Kevin and Jeff have not had the chance to see their grandparents in person for a couple of years. Watching them talk brought me great joy.

After Jeff and Kevin left the first night to hang out with cousins Tom and Mike, my Dad said to me, “I think I asked Jeff his name.” Then he followed up with, “Jeff must think I am an idiot.” I assured my Dad that that was not the case.

I texted Jeff, and his response was, “Yeah, Grandpa did ask. First he asked what my name was and I said ‘Jeff.’ And then Grandpa asked ‘Jeff who?’ I thought he was messing with me, but I answered ‘Beatty.’ It surprised me. I could have handled it better.”

Know that my parent’s minds are in great shape, and yet when you are in your 90’s you now and then forget things. (I forget things right now. ) Also know that Jeff thought his Grandpa was messing with him, well, because his Grandpa would sometimes mess with people – joke around with them. That this misunderstanding took place was really fantastic to me. It acknowledges who each of them was and is. It shows the reality and uncertainty of aging. And it is an example of the grace that people can show each other as things change.

And when they met again the next day, they each greeted the other with, “Hi, Mr. Beatty.” Perfect.

Dancing Penguins 1996

So wonderful to have nearby cousins, and we were blessed to live close enough to the Wenzel family to share dance classes. We lived in Wisconsin at the time, us in Waukesha and the Wenzel’s in Brookfield. It was a magical time – and also the cutest time when you see them in their little penguin costumes, doing their best to tap dance.

When my brothers and sisters and I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, with few exceptions our dozens and dozens (…and dozens ) of cousins were nearby. That meant that we were always getting together. Just imagine the Baptisms, First Holy Communion, and Confirmations for that crowd. Gatherings on the weekend with extended family was just what we did. I moved away from Chicago after college and others did the same for job opportunities, taking away some of that weekly/monthly interaction.

Bridget and Becca are the fourth child of both the Wenzel and Beatty families, and as you can see very close in age. Each child is close in age to one in the other family. Though now spread across the country, all it takes is a gathering of any kind and the years and distance melt away for the cousins. And the good news is that holds true even for my children’s cousins who we were not able to live nearby.

First Day of School, 1995

The first pile of polaroids that I picked up to scan were from 1995 and 1996, and this is appropriate to show with 2021 school just recently started. The boys headed to school in Waukesha, WI. Bridget just wanted to be in the picture. We had recently moved from Racine to Waukesha to a home that could house us.

In the background hangs a sign that says “Watermelon 5 cents.” That very sign hangs outside our Texas home right now in 2021, 26 years later. So for as much stuff that I claim to throw or give away, some linger on.

These maskless first-day photos are a stark contrast from photos this year and last. The school kids really are feeling the burden of the pandemic, and I pray that we get back to whatever normal is going to be, for their sake.